Honeyanne

chosen sister...

 

Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies. ~ Aristotle

It is true. Finding Amber when I was eight was like finding a missing part of myself. We knew each other before we were born, there is no question in my mind about that. She saved my childhood from so many side street and back alley decisions.

When we were together we were inseparable. I saw her once a week at church and whenever our parents let us get together on holidays. We didn't talk about boys - not really. We didn't spend hours on the phone either. If we phoned each other it was to confirm play dates. We spent all our time doing something that ultimately made us laugh. We spent hours playing with her Barbies -hours. We recorded murder mysteries on cassette tapes, orchestrated dress up parties, ate a scary amount of salted crackers with margarine, drove her father crazy listening to the Yentl sound track, celebrated our birthdays together and we never missed ringing in the New Year with each other.

I adored Amber and I adore her still. I hate that I can't think of the right kind of words to describe her. She is the most forgiving, long suffering, patient person I know. She always believed in me and because of her I felt lifted into myself and the person I was meant to be. That isn't a cliche comment or a trite one. It is really what she did for me. I honestly believe had I not met Amber my life would be very different. I believe my life would be sad and empty. I think I would have lost myself to temptations and bad examples. Her example has always kept me straight.

It's coming on 30 years of friendship (wow! some marriages don't last that long!). Amber Emma Mary is a very special person in my life. Her name is quietly revered in our home among the children. I named my 4th child after her.  When the moments are just right for reminiscing I tell the children stories about two girls wrapping themselves in a string of balloons and chasing each other with pins. I tell them about the darling duo tying sheets to their wrists and feet and standing out in the wind. I tell them about how truly blessed I feel to be given such a gift from God. 

Now that we are grown ups we do more mature things like...spray paint from water guns onto canvas or watch Angelina Jolie videos and laugh at the melodrama ("Oh my, Dr. Peters, she's in the cotton fields!") or try to dry our hair using an oscillating fan.

There are days when I want to pack up our house and move closer to her. Distance can be a bitter barrier for kindred spirits. If I know my husband, he'd uproot this family and scramble his barrings and give me my way if I pleaded enough. For now he puts away money so she and I can take trips to tiny Canadian islands. My hope, when the family is grown, is to move closer to her. I cradle that notion in my heart and nurture it in my dreams.

 
 
Let's become little old ladies together...

Let's become old ladies together-
We'll stay up late looking at old pictures, telling 'remember when stories', and laughing til our sides ache.

Let's become eccentric together-
The kind of old ladies who take long walks, wear silly hats, and get away with acting outrageous in public places.

And if anybody should ask how long we've been friends, we'll say, 'Oh forever-since before you were even born'!

Let's become little old ladies together because a friendship that's as special as ours can only grow better through the years.

~ Unknown

chosen sister...

 "She is a friend of mind. She gather me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order. It's good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind.” Toni Morrison

I was introduced to Karina maybe 5 years ago. It was at a meeting Peggy had put together to share her ideas about a 'floating university'. I liked Karina instantly. Some friendships are serendipitous and some are designed for a bigger purpose other than social enjoyment. I believe Karina and I (and Peggy) share that bigger purpose.  We seem to be traveling on parallel paths.

Karina is a gatherer. She has this ability to feel that I've rarely seen in any other person I've met. She knows just what to say and do.  Sometimes I stand in awe of it when I see her compassion in action. Once, we had a friend who was going through a very horrible event. We wanted to show our support. All I could do was clean (that's my way of trying to help) but Karina soothed her haggard heart.

Whenever I am hurting, even slightly, Karina quiets and softens my suffering.  When I tell her my troubles she says, "I'm sorry." in such a way that I know she is. I feel her genuine compassion and I sense all will be well because Karina cares and I am gathered.  She doesn't try to fix it. She just feels for me and somehow that gives me the energy to fix it myself.

The day I posted 'feeling sorry for myself'  Karina called. She was by the beach... in Miami... Florida... on vacation. She thought I might need to talk..."she gathers me, man." She gathers me.

Karina is a seeker - an honest to goodness seeker. She isn't so afraid to ask the questions that others are. We've all been in a situation when someone declares, "There has just got to be a better way!" To which someone always replies, "This is just the way it is. It won't change." And we accept that rebuttal with a sigh. Well, Karina doesn't accept rebuttals. She seeks the better way.

She'll call me up and say, "I'm reading this book - will you read it too? I'd really like to discuss it with you." And because of that I open books which help me along the life-path I'm forging. Sometimes while I'm knee deep in 'badlands, boonies and boondocks' I look up and she's in the same wilderness laying down her own path. It's nice to know I'm not alone in my quests for something more(more than laundry and chauffeuring). 

She really is a 'friend of mind' and she really does 'gather me'. She helps me to see past life's pitfalls with the questions she asks and the thoughts she shares.  Most times she is my example as she pushes forward while I fall back and grab hold of her coat tails...

chosen sister...

 

"Beloved, you are my sister, you are my daughter, you are my face; you are me” Toni Morrison

Some sisters you are born with - others you get to choose.  The next few days I will share with you some of my chosen sisters. I admire them very much.  I look forward to our annual mom's weekend get away. This year we attended the opera, fit as much IKEA bags in the van as we could and shared really good conversation.

Peggy is kindness of the most unassuming variety.  She laughs at my jokes even when - especially when - they aren't really funny.  That's how I know she's a really good friend.  More than that, when she says to me, "Stacy,I'm so glad you're here." I am just so glad to be where ever she is. Or she'll say, "Stacy, you're so good." I believe her and I think there might be some potential in this sloppy awkward soul of mine.

Peggy is leader of the most unassuming kind. She invests her time into the educating of her large young family. She wants to inspire her children to greatness and everyone else's for that matter. She organizes wonderful events and doesn't always get the credit she deserves (much to the burning chagrin of her friends) yet she organizes on. When she wants to see something happen she makes it happen - even if it means sleep packs up and takes leave.

Oh, but she doesn't keep an immaculate house which is her life long sorrow - some days. Her laundry piles up by the washing machine (she's confessed to losing it in all the dirty clothes...'it' refers to the washing machine and not her sanity...well, maybe her sanity too...). She's found shoes in her dishwasher (I kind of think that is a cleaver place to store them) and her walls display the finger paintings of 6 brilliant Picassos (but Pablo didn't do any of his work in spaghetti sauce or pudding - and they call him a genius? please.).  That has never stopped her from inviting me in with a cheery, "Stacy, how are you!"  She does it in just that perfect way which makes me feel like I'm home in heaven...

Day 16 - it suits you...

 

Souls are meant to soar - I think that's why God made birds - to remind us of this.  You can tell when a soul is or isn't soaring - you can see it in their eyes.  You can hear it in their voice.  You can feel it in their actions. 

And some times you meet people who lift you into your sky - who inspire you up.  They don't shove - they hold you there in their open hand and boost you up - up - up into your purpose. 

Meet Cat.  At a halloween party I went as a bird. She loved the mask I was wearing and asked if I would let her try it on.  The minute she placed it on her face I thought - this mask suits you. 

You soar and you boost, my dear.  Thank you.

Summer with 'love beth'...

I know that summer is behind us now that the leaves have carpeted the lawn in orange and yellow but I just have to put in a fond memory of summer past.  We went out to the charming estate of one 'love beth'.  She brought her family from England because she wanted to have some space to stretch and grow.  We are so glad.  Nothing is as delightful as the soft british accent which springs from a gentle heart.  I felt instantly at home when we arrived and couldn't wait to explore with my camera.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Vivian...

Meet my new friend - Vivian. We have so much in common.  For instance, I love to feel the wind on my face - so does Vivian.  I like to carry home bouquets of flowers - so does Vivian.  I like to take lazy rides in the country - so does Vivian!  We've been planning lots of outings together.  Would you like to join us?

I call her Elsie

When I was seventeen my mother let me have my Grandmother's silver wind-up watch.  I loved it.  I'd hold it up to my ear and enjoy the ticking lullaby.  One winter while I was playing outside, I lost it in the snow.  It slipped from my wrist and despite my frantic searching I never found it.  I was devastated.  I felt almost as cursed as when I broke Grandma's vintage mirror that hung in the family room but that is another story entirely...

There are a few things I really - really want to have and pass on to my children...or just have.  This particular type of watch has always been on the top of the list ever since that fateful winters night.  Well, let me tell you, someone out there had read my list because one sunny afternoon as I was thrifting there she was in her original watch box softly ticking to my heart!  I let out a gleeful cry  (yes, gleeful and yes, people stared) as I turned her over in my hands.  It was the exact kind of watch I had lost nearly 12 years prior! I have a thrifting-fairy. She leaves me little treasures now and again - I just know it!

I call her Elsie, after my Grandmother of course (the watch not the fairy). 

Technical Difficulties and road trips

I have been struggling with my computer for the last few weeks.  It crashes every time I load pictures. It crashes every time I open my email. In fact, our computer is crashing as I write...using my laptop which I haven't used for a very long time because it doesn't have a mouse and I'm kind of mouse dependent.  I'd go out and  buy a mouse but the 'mouse ports' (both) are no longer working.  Sigh.  I live in the land of 'technical difficulties'.  That being said, I'm going to try to live without a mouse until we fix the computer or get a new one.  So without further adieu ...

"Certainly, travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living."  Miriam Beard

Each year for the past 7, Diann Jeppson organizes the Thomas Jefferson Education Forum and for the past few years I have joined a handful of homeschooling moms (and friends) on the road trip to Utah.  We each admit we go because we love the drive down.  It isn't about the scenery - although it's beautiful - it's about the great conversation we have on the way.  We solve the worlds problems and even some of our own. I usually come away lifted or at least bonded to these women just a little bit more.

   

5 women sharing a hotel room.  Getting ready between one shower at 7:00 in the morning.  Nothing beats that.  It's like we are back in our twenties sharing the mirror with half a dozen college room mates - oh, the rituals of being feminine.  No children to distract our 'youthfulness' (a woman needs that every now and again).  Lots of laughter and sharing. 

 That's what road trips are really about - the sharing.  The sharing of time and space,  expenses and snack foods, ideas and thoughts, tears and laughter... sharing the very experience. It binds us together - our own inner circle which  can expand depending on who can come the next year and how many seats are in the van.