Who would ever think that so much can go on in the soul of a young girl?” Anne Frank
Mmmm...do you remember this gaze - this pose? Do you remember being almost 13 and trying to figure it out? I remember. Everything was changing on the inside. I was more aware of my moods - skipping from melancholy to effervescent to inflamed. This is the time of shifting and stretching and pushing. It's actually an amazing time in life because life has never been more in color. The moments pulsate.
It is a time to explore. It is a time to take a timid toe and test the waters. What a marvelous time in a young girls life. I wish I could go back to that blip in my time line just for a day. At least I get to experience it again in small part through Tansy - to share some laughter and tears and maybe do a little yelling at those circumstances which refuse to go the way we wish.
Above all, this is a time to listen ... Never before has a young girl needed her mother to be tuned in. There is a great deal of soul swirling and bubbling in my daughter and I need to hold my tongue and let her figure herself out in a safe and loving environment. Sometimes I feel like my whole life has been leading me to this time in her life.
Quiet is an art. I've been trying to be quiet for probably 20 years or more. When I was Tansy's age I felt I talked too much and said the wrong thing too often. I tried very hard to control myself - I am still working on it. I still stick my foot in my mouth and have been known to swallow my leg whole from time to time.
I am learning that being quiet is not so much about keeping myself from taking over a conversation, or blurting out the first thing that comes to my mind - being quiet is really about listening.
Listening to others first. Seeking to understand first. Giving someone the courtesy of being heard and appreciated for their voice. Receiving the jewels of wisdom others have to share (after all I don't know everything - truth is I hardly know anything).
Listening to a still small voice. Listening to what the Highest Power has to say on the matter. Listening for peace and reassurance. Listening for love. This kind of listening leads to speechlessness and awe don't you think?
Listening is receiving. Receiving understanding, receiving truth, receiving peace, receiving Tansy.